I was imaging how life would be without me. I wasn’t irreplaceable. Someone else would replace my work position; my friends would have new friends; even my husband could get a new wife. Most of the other people won’t even care. My death would just be news to them, something taking a few minutes of their time. Yet when I thought about my own children and my family my heart was torn apart. It was an unbearable pain. I spent a lot of time closed in my room, and cried as much as my body would bear.
I started to feel physical pains, real pains all over my body. My energy went down. I couldn’t move and I couldn’t eat. I was witnessing how my internal organs were decaying. So I spent most of the time lying and feeling sorry for myself. It was over. I was lying there on my deathbed. My sense of victimhood became worse and worse. I couldn’t even do my housework. I remember my young nieces came and did the housework for me. My house was full of bad energy; we could hardly speak to each other. My boys thought I was suffering from flu, so they were patient when they saw me in that awful condition. The older son was much more aware of my situation and he ignored me all of the time. It looked like he hated me for being ill. The younger one, being just a toddler, would come to me, kiss me, hug me and give me that divine smile as though he were trying to tell me something, as though he knew everything was going to be well. On the other hand, my husband never gave up. All night he read different articles about my disease and, while taking care of me, he would tell me a thing or two. But I kept ignoring it, I didn’t want to know or learn.
Featured Interview With Burbuqe Raufi
Tell us a little about yourself. Where were you raised? Where do you live now?
Burbuqe Raufi was born and lives in Tetovë, Macedonia, a small country beneath the Balkans, Europe. She lives with her two beautiful sons Kron and Peon and her husband. She was raised in a family where books were their greatest treasure, and often woke up during the night to listen to her father’s new baked poetry.
At what age did you realize your fascination with books? When did you start writing?
My fascination of books goes as far as I can remember, my favorite spot was my grandfather’s library where I spent most of my time and got lost within those imaginary stories and afterwards discuss it with my bibliophile grandfather.
I started to write when I was in primary school, I got some awards from children’s magazine, my favorite one was a poetry I wrote about Mother Teresa.
Who are your favorite authors to read? What is your favorite genre to read. Who Inspires you in your writings?
I graduated English Literature and it is hard for me to get my list started. I’ll begin with Homer and Shakespeare, the classics Bronte Sisters, Jane Austin, Virginia Wolf, Franc Kafka, Leo Tolstoy, Oscar Wilde, Charles Dickens, William Blake and the list goes on and on up to Bukowski and John Fante. Lately I prefer the modern literature of positive thinking and my favorites are Louise Hay, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Jack Canfield, Nick Ortner…and the Master Rumi, which verses allow me to swim deep within my soul.
Tell us a little about your latest book?
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life gave me the hardest challenge, to beat the unbeatable, an incurable disease, and on its way I discovered the Power within me, the Power that brings Miracles into your life. But it wasn’t an easy battle, in order to succeed you need to change, and changing old habits is very hard. You have to start from changing your thoughts, your words, and your habits and up to your dieting. I believed that sharing my story with the world will bring positive impact into other people’s life. If I did it, everyone can!
So, I decided to publish my life changing story, “Dr. Mind” and spread the message across.
May all beings be blessed with love. Thank you for reading!