Gratitude is the KEY.

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Instead of making a list of New Year Resolution, as I did almost every previous years, last year I decided not to do it. So, what did I do?

I wrote a short message to my self in bold and capital letters, “2016 IS GOING TO BE THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE” and put it as a folder title in my email list and decided to send emails to myself every time I feel Grateful.

I opened that folder today and got amazed, I had a lot of emails, I couldn’t count them, I couldn’t count my blessings.

Noticing the little things, the tiny sparkles of everyday life makes you forget the great things you want to come into your life, as for it is important to cherish what you have than worrying about what you want.

Surprisingly, as I was going through the list I realized that 2016 was really the greatest year of my life, I am bringing some examples below:

Fights and disagreements with my family- NONE

Economic status of my family better than previous years, although getting the same amount.

I visited my dream country.

Each month we had a family/friends trip to neighboring countries

More family gatherings.

My work atmosphere was very peaceful and creative, toxic friends and colleagues disappeared like Abracadabra , with no effort of my side.

I lost a little weight due to skipping into healthy diet and continuing.

No injuries or health issues of myself and my family.

My sons are doing great at school, although we had difficulties at the beginning with my younger son.

I made my only dream come true by publishing my book, which resulted as a great success by getting excellent feedback from the readers, the book was published into Albanian as well…so 2016 brought me two books and heart full of gratitude.

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Currently I am half done with another GREAT project and I am very exited…and the list goes on and on…Most of all I really learned the lesson that “more you are grateful, more you have to be grateful for.”

Choosing to be grateful for the things you already have instead of asking a list of what you want is the key to a successful, healthy and happy life.

My new 2017 JAR  title is “2017 IS GOING TO BE AN AMAZING YEAR,”…what yours is going to be?:)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS and may all beings be blessed with the feeling of GRATITUDE.

 

 

 

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Phobias-the beasts that live in our head.

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It was ten years ago when I said goodbye to the last airplane I had a short flight with. I even claimed that only stupid people choose to travel by airplane. Since then I refused to think about it, and never take into consideration to fly again.

“I will explore the world by Google Maps, I don’t need to visit faraway countries.”- I always comforted myself.

Despite other phobias, aerophobia was the most frightening phobia that I have ever had.

However, few months ago I couldn’t refuse my sisters offer to visit Paris. Oh, Paris, the city of lights, the city of my all time dreams. If I could choose from all the cities of the world, Paris was always the first on my list.

Bus drive wasn’t even an option, my sister had already booked the tickets. I was overwhelmed and at the same time scared to death. There were only three days left until the flight, and I could feel the same anxiety and fear as I did ten years ago.

I arose between my greatest desire and greatest fear. Again I was in a position Me vs Me.

I was telling people about the power of our mind, the power of our thoughts, I healed myself from a terrible disease with that power, I even wrote a book about it. But, now I was acting like a cowardice denying the power I had within and letting the fear conquer me, isn’t the fear just a thought too?

The only way to overcome the fear was to face it, to look directly into the beast’s eyes.  Therefore, I made a decision, no matter how painful it will be, I have to prove to myself, once more. That I am stronger than my fear.

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Oh, it wasn’t easy. The moment when the airplane had to take-off my sister asked me.

“How do you feel, how much you are scared from 1 to 10?”

“Ten”- I replied and I took her hand.

It were the exact same feelings, the exact jiggling  pains in my stomach. I closed my eyes and I could feel my heart beating as fast as the speed of airplane, I had a shower of sweat all over my head and I couldn’t move my limbs. I thought If I move I would interfere the airplanes balance. My body froze and it wasn’t there anymore, all I could feel was my own breath and my  own thoughts.

“Why did I do this to myself, why did I agree to torture my own being, what I was thinking, why did I put myself at this flying box moving with an incredible speed and high, why did I leave my comfort zone, no Paris, nothing deserves this torture. I am one of those stupid people now.”

The airplane normalized, the stewardesses started to sell things, people untied their security belts, my sister felt asleep, but not me, I was still on the shocking zone.

I took the courage to look around, everything seemed normal, people were eating, drinking, chatting with each other, it was just me, wet and stoned.

According to researchers there are around 100.000 flights per day and the statistics of airplane crashing are 1 in 29.4 million. “You’re much more likely to die getting to the airport than you are flying in the plane,” said the editors at Discovery. Sure, it is the safest way of traveling, but why I don’t tremble and sweat while driving, why don’t I wear an helmet whenever I go. It is because I believe in the process of live, because I feel save on the ground and because my mind patterns are structured on belief. I needed to work on those old belief patterns. Fears are just nonexistent beasts in our head that we create with our thoughts. Nothing more and nothing less.

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“Isn’t the fear just a thought?” – I asked myself.

“Can thoughts change? – I asked myself again.

Of course they can. I have proved this to myself a lot of times, why not now, and again. So, I decided to use some affirmations,

“I can do it, I am stronger than my fear, I love flying, I am enjoying flying, what a wonderful feeling to fly, to be above the clouds, near to the source. It is amazingly enjoyable, I trust the process of life, everything happens for my greatest good. This one is one of them.”

It was the only way to trick my mind, to say the opposite of what I was feeling, but it wasn’t easy and kept staring at my watch, we weren’t even on the middle of the destination.  So,  again I would close my eyes and continued with the affirmations, ” I can do it, You can do it. Yes, you can do it…”

The fact that I kept my eyes closed, concentrating on my breathing and saying the affirmations put me in a deep stage of meditations. I lost the trace of time. I only remember the voice of stewardess telling us to prepare for the landing.

I opened my eyes and the beast wasn’t there anymore, my body had calmed down, I had a delightful feeling on my stomach and I dared myself to look at the oval shaped window, the view was amazing such as were my feelings.

When I got out from the airplane I hugged my sister so tightly and thanked her for doing me such a great favor and  I looked up in the sky and shouted: “I DID IT!”

Last week I had another trip, and I really enjoyed the flight. Share if you believe this might help someone.

Thank you for reading! 🙂

The power of thoughts

There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. (Einstein)

Therefore I divide my life into two parts synchronized with each other. An indispensable Yin-Yang.

 The first part of my life I lived it entirely wrong. Wanting to reach perfection; competing with others. Wanting to be a perfect mother, a daughter, a wife, a friend, and devoted my time and energy on how others will evaluate me. 

And again I was unhappy, always concentrating only on the black point in the white paper. Complaining, exhausting and stressing myself, my mind, my body until I came to a degree when I hated everyone and everything, including myself. 

My happiness had conditions. I expected to be happy when I would finish all the work, when everyone had eaten, when I would lose 10 kg,  when I would go on vacation … This kind of happiness doesn’t  exist, it was just an image that made me damage my body, and being diagnosed with a terrible disease, incurable disease. 

Many doctor confirmed my serious condition, they and their authority with the power of the words made me believe that my life was over. With or without surgery my end was closer than I could imagine. Doctors didn’t guarantee anything to me. 

Everything that I had built, everything that I dreamed of vanished just from one diagnosis. I started to believe it and at the same time the physical pains began. I locked myself in my dark room and expecting my own death. I could feel my organs were decaying from within. 

In the end, I realized how important my life was and I wanted to live because I realized that the most important thing in my life was ME. Myself, who I hated continuously. Nothing mattered anymore, my life was perfect as it was, and I had sinned by not being grateful to the most precious gift. 

What was important were the seconds, minutes, hours, days … – The breath, which was denied to me day by day. 

However, you can see the stars only in darkness. Therefore, my illness came to me as a blessing. It came to awaken me, to tell me how important I was. If I wouldn’t live, it would not be important whether or not the sun rises tomorrow. When I realized that I had so much to lose, when I realized how beautiful life is, I had a burning desire to live, to fight. But everywhere I asked for help, they would flap my hope into my face. 
My sister asked me to read a book in order to help me get out of that hopeless situation. That book made me change the whole perception of life; it was completely the opposite of what I had ever believed. The teachings were based on love of yourself, gratitude and forgiveness. It said, 

“We are the creators of our life, we create our lives with our thoughts. Thoughts are our power. If we change our thoughts, we can change our life.” Everything made sense. I had created a terrible disease, but if I could change the thoughts would I reverse it, or would I create a new reality? 

So I dedicated myself with love to the new lessons, doing all the exercises and techniques. Affirming hundreds or thousands time that I was already healed, that I was already in the process of change, that my life is perfect. At first it was not easy, I had to much resistance. Me versus Me was the most difficult fight. To say to yourself “I am healed” when you feel terrible pains all over your body. To tell yourself that everything is perfect when you are counting the days backwards. But everything was a thought, and thoughts can be changed. 

I didn’t like the feeling of being a victim, it was a feeling you cannot swallow, so I decided to put all my power, all my being to change. I changed my diet, I started reading, watching videos, doing affirmations, do exactly as those who were at my condition before me and had triumphed. 

You cannot seek new results if you do the same thing again and again. I decided not believe that I was sick, and then I started to feel it and finally I created another reality for myself. As I changed, the circumstances around me started to change. From a metastasized tumor diagnosis, doctors began to say it was a well doer tumor and the tumor started to shrink and in two years of intense devotion it disappeared completely, it vanished. 

I managed to change the course of my disease with the power of my mind. We decide, with our thoughts what kind of life we would like to live. I chose to believe in miracles and miracles happened to me.

Burbuqe Raufi, author of Dr. Mind

Short story-LOVE

Dear, today I will talk about love. Although I have never managed to define it properly. Indeed, there is no definition. Why should there be? It is variable, as are the waves of life.

Love in my life never came to its fullest, it would come, would touch my shoulder and leave.

Today, I decided to talk about love, because today I feel I am untouchable. Today I don’t need love. Today I just need to talk about it. Not as a feeling or a story but as a shape, a human shape probably.

It was impossible not to see him, although the beach was crowded. People walked and moved aimlessly. Others were just enjoying their sunbathing. He did not. He was leaning on the pillar of the light staring onto the sea.

The sea was very calm. It gave you an impression that it was in its deepest sleep, like a coma. I loved that feeling. So, I was trying to meditate. To avoid everything. To be just with me and my world. But I could not concentrate. He did not move even for a moment. He remained at the same point.

He was different, different from all others. Even his bathing suit was different. Nothing impressed him, although people were walking just beside him. He continued to stare the sea, he waited. He was waiting for something.

He had no need for water or shade, not literally. His everything was in the sea, it fed him, it fulfilled him, it kept him alive.

He stood there without moving for hours. I lost my patience and I went and sat next to him.

“It is not there today?” – I asked.

“Tomorrow”- he answered.

We both remained silent, we didn’t say anything. We were both observing at that endless and peaceful sight. I felt that he was longing. He would wait again tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. He will wait until he’ll waste his last powers, until the twilight of his life. It was his only love.

Finally he smiled and went along with his surfing board. We both knew that, maybe not today, or tomorrow, but that day would come and they would dance together within the music of the sea waves crashing to each other. Will touch and taste them to the core. The fervor. The sweetest pain of love.

Dear, that is why love doesn’t have a single definition. It has all sorts of shapes. Human shape, calmness’s shape, waves’ shapes, the sea’s shape … the difficult part is to find out which one it is.

Copyright@BurbuqeRaufi

Dr. Mind’ s Preview

I was imaging how life would be without me. I wasn’t irreplaceable. Someone else would replace my work position; my friends would have new friends; even my husband could get a new wife. Most of the other people won’t even care. My death would just be news to them, something taking a few minutes of their time. Yet when I thought about my own children and my family my heart was torn apart. It was an unbearable pain. I spent a lot of time closed in my room, and cried as much as my body would bear.

I started to feel physical pains, real pains all over my body. My energy went down. I couldn’t move and I couldn’t eat. I was witnessing how my internal organs were decaying. So I spent most of the time lying and feeling sorry for myself. It was over. I was lying there on my deathbed. My sense of victimhood became worse and worse. I couldn’t even do my housework. I remember my young nieces came and did the housework for me. My house was full of bad energy; we could hardly speak to each other. My boys thought I was suffering from flu, so they were patient when they saw me in that awful condition. The older son was much more aware of my situation and he ignored me all of the time. It looked like he hated me for being ill. The younger one, being just a toddler, would come to me, kiss me, hug me and give me that divine smile as though he were trying to tell me something, as though he knew everything was going to be well. On the other hand, my husband never gave up. All night he read different articles about my disease and, while taking care of me, he would tell me a thing or two. But I kept ignoring it, I didn’t want to know or learn.

Author’s interview

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Featured Interview With Burbuqe Raufi

Tell us a little about yourself. Where were you raised? Where do you live now?
Burbuqe Raufi was born and lives in Tetovë, Macedonia, a small country beneath the Balkans, Europe. She lives with her two beautiful sons Kron and Peon and her husband. She was raised in a family where books were their greatest treasure, and often woke up during the night to listen to her father’s new baked poetry.

At what age did you realize your fascination with books? When did you start writing?
My fascination of books goes as far as I can remember, my favorite spot was my grandfather’s library where I spent most of my time and got lost within those imaginary stories and afterwards discuss it with my bibliophile grandfather.
I started to write when I was in primary school, I got some awards from children’s magazine, my favorite one was a poetry I wrote about Mother Teresa.

Who are your favorite authors to read? What is your favorite genre to read. Who Inspires you in your writings?
I graduated English Literature and it is hard for me to get my list started. I’ll begin with Homer and Shakespeare, the classics Bronte Sisters, Jane Austin, Virginia Wolf, Franc Kafka, Leo Tolstoy, Oscar Wilde, Charles Dickens, William Blake and the list goes on and on up to Bukowski and John Fante. Lately I prefer the modern literature of positive thinking and my favorites are Louise Hay, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Jack Canfield, Nick Ortner…and the Master Rumi, which verses allow me to swim deep within my soul.

Tell us a little about your latest book?
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life gave me the hardest challenge, to beat the unbeatable, an incurable disease, and on its way I discovered the Power within me, the Power that brings Miracles into your life. But it wasn’t an easy battle, in order to succeed you need to change, and changing old habits is very hard. You have to start from changing your thoughts, your words, and your habits and up to your dieting. I believed that sharing my story with the world will bring positive impact into other people’s life. If I did it, everyone can!
So, I decided to publish my life changing story, “Dr. Mind” and spread the message across.

May all beings be blessed with love. Thank you for reading!