I was imaging how life would be without me. I wasn’t irreplaceable. Someone else would replace my work position; my friends would have new friends; even my husband could get a new wife. Most of the other people won’t even care. My death would just be news to them, something taking a few minutes of their time. Yet when I thought about my own children and my family my heart was torn apart. It was an unbearable pain. I spent a lot of time closed in my room, and cried as much as my body would bear.
I started to feel physical pains, real pains all over my body. My energy went down. I couldn’t move and I couldn’t eat. I was witnessing how my internal organs were decaying. So I spent most of the time lying and feeling sorry for myself. It was over. I was lying there on my deathbed. My sense of victimhood became worse and worse. I couldn’t even do my housework. I remember my young nieces came and did the housework for me. My house was full of bad energy; we could hardly speak to each other. My boys thought I was suffering from flu, so they were patient when they saw me in that awful condition. The older son was much more aware of my situation and he ignored me all of the time. It looked like he hated me for being ill. The younger one, being just a toddler, would come to me, kiss me, hug me and give me that divine smile as though he were trying to tell me something, as though he knew everything was going to be well. On the other hand, my husband never gave up. All night he read different articles about my disease and, while taking care of me, he would tell me a thing or two. But I kept ignoring it, I didn’t want to know or learn.
By a professional book reviewer for Simon and Schuster & Hachette Books.
A near-death experience while giving birth to her first child sets the tone for “The Tavern” as Nina Simone struggles to find her freedom as she searches the world for answers of the nothingness she longs to feel again.
Through a poetic tone of voice, the description was captivating to read and made me feel as if I was there myself. The way Nina talks is the way I believe, every woman to think, she has a right to be herself and will do as she pleases.
“Dear, I know it might sound like madness to you, but the moment that death separated me from the life was the most beautiful feeling the nothingness that I’ve ever experienced.”
I personally loved how fast paced the book was, a great beginning, loved the plot and I dug right into the problems at hand with no problem. Nina lost and gained so much in so little time, it’s gives a sense of reality as this could happen to anyone.
Extremely satisfying to read and beautifully written.
Into the nature I go to sooth my soul and wash away the unnecessary crap that I carry within me, accumulated during the everyday experiences.The water, the wind, trees, flowers, air, sunbeams are all pure energy because they don’t think, and thoughts are energies, the more people you interact more frustrated, disscomforted you become, and so the more I cleanse myself the moreI am able to find myself the more I find others as unnecessary means for my life.
Being in nature is like reading the best book, but yet wordless, just feelings telling you the truth of who you really are, and not the one that people want you to be, a slave of their acceptance.
Relationship with the nature doesn’t ask you to change, it ask you to be You.
Happy my first anniversary on wordpress and thank you for being here with me. Love you and bless you All. 💖
Today I had this divine feeling about myself, appreciation about who I really am and I felt like I am being the best version of myself. All my life I thought that if I love myself, I am being narcissistic ang egoist, others should be first in my list. Such a wrong belief, which led me to a terminal disease and got cured when I returned myself to the state of self love. How can I love others if I am not here to love them? So, as I was reflecting my life, this feeling of appreciation arose.
I LOVE myself, I am proud of myself for being open to new approaches. I know there are a lot of unlimited things I need to learn and I am learning every day something new. I am open to life and I am loving it. 🙂
How are you feeling today? 💗