My younger son, my baby, started school two weeks ago, a first grader. He doesn’t want to go, he cried all summer, he didn’t even want to celebrate his birthday, because he knew that six years old means school.
I tried my best, I tried to persuade him that school is a great place, he’ll get to know other kids, he’ll get new friends. I bought him a school bag that he chose, with a sharp teeth shark image on it, clothes with his favorite superheroes, and he got exited…we were all there the first day, the most important day of his life, he even did the fake smile for my sake on the picture above, but his heart was beating faster, his skin got pale, his mouth was drying out. He didn’t want to speak, he didn’t even say his name.
I felt like I had failed, and I did. I gave him to much attention, to much love and hundreds of hugs and kisses per day.
Changes are hard, but necessary. And we both failed. We are bonded, attached to each other, like conjoint twins, we can’t get apart.
He cries everyday. I cry everyday, too, when I am not with him, at work, in the bathroom, when I iron his little clothes.
It feels like I am taking away his freedom, the freedom of being himself.
He has learned English Language fluently, just by watching cartoons and videos, he has learned the numbers and adding just by himself, he has learned the letters to make google searches, when he can’t write the words, he would make a voice search on google, honestly I never knew there was an option like that.
He watches videos of human body structure, he explores every human organ by analyzing their functions, and explain to me in details. Asks me who created us, the Earth, the Moon, who created God. He is a little genius, but he doesn’t want to go to school…What in earth he will learn there, rules?
Rules, on how he can’t be himself, how can he be an instrument? A droid probably!?
I don’t have answers for all these questions, I really don’t. But, I know I love him and that is the only thing I can offer, not a solution to his anxiety, and I know he loves me too, and he makes me proud, of who he is, a little human with a great heart.
Life had tough me, that after great struggles, the answers reveal itself and I believe in the process of life. Everything will turn out great, a miracle will happen. But today, I needed to write this, today I need to cry.
Reblogged this on O LADO ESCURO DA LUA.
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It seems a little genius but have relations is very educational. Not enough to know you must also learn to listen, even arguing, but not only with Mom! Best wishes!
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I appreciate your advises 💖
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Sorry I do not speak English. Google traduction :-))
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Thank you 💖
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You have strong shoulders and a big heart. Keep being there for him. Routine makes a child feel safe. Reading aloud gives the child the words he needs, and also a great experience of learning about the world and others. Read fiction and picture books together. Listen, talk, snuggle, and smile. You are probably already doing this, yet sometimes an affirmation feels good. -Jennie-
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Thank you Jennie, you are right, routine will make him feel safe, and me as well 🙂
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You’ve put it in a beautiful way! As for the little genius, I’m sure he’ll learn a lot with the other children in school and continue to be a genius there also. Let the world see his brilliance!
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Thank you Ankita, your words mean a lot to me 💗
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🙂 ❤
Stay strong! You'll be amazed at what a wonderful person he develops into and will look back at this time and feel it was all worth it! 🙂
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Loads of Hugs!! Stay brave!!
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Reading aloud very good . There are many for sale audiobook Children! Hallo
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Hmmm…It’s pretty normal. Please don’t panic. 🙂 I’m a single mom of 4 kids (27, 25, 23, 19) and a 1 1/2 year old very active grand daughter. I was a preschool Montessori teacher for 8 years and an adult educator thereafter.
You may find this article helpful: http://montessoritraining.blogspot.com/2007/07/montessori-philosophy-first-plane-of.html
Happy reading and reflecting. 🙂
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Jing I am really grateful to you, for the encouragement and the article, very useful information. But, it is all right to cry sometimes 😀. Love and blessings to you 🌸
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Of course! I did cry a lot. I still do now…Now that my kids have grown-up! Strong women shed tears too! 💕
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He is a brilliant young boy will learn fast.
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Thank you and bless you. 💗
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Welcome and bless you too.
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It seems he is a very special child.. He don’t want to go at school not because he don’t want to learn, maybe he has bigger things in his mind than others childrens has … He just learned to many thinks not everyone can learn …no children succeeds without a good mother behind him . Mother or teacher, he has both , he is twice blessed indeed 😍
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Oh thank you Ajlin for these kind words 💗💕🌸
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It sounds like you’ve given him a wonderful start to his life. I hated school when I started at the age of 4 and even ran away but they found me standing patiently beside a busy road. Some take longer to settle than others especially more introverted personalities who are very happy in their own company. He’ll carve his own path guided by the hands of your love. 🌻
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Oh thank you, Such a comforting and inspiring post. ❤
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My grandfather took me to school on my first day. He went straight home and I got there before he did. I grew to love school.
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You made my day with this comment. 🙂 Thank you! 🌟
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I love this! My son is about your son’s age, so you made me tear up. Beautiful and heartfelt writing! Thank you so much for sharing! 🙂
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Thank you Dave. I hope you are not at the same position 🙂
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He loves school – learning, playing with friends. He’s going to be six next month. I’m sure your son will come to enjoy it but it may take time. Hang in there, my friend. 🙂 I just love your account of it and how open you are to share. Thank you again! Wishing you both all the best!
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My son started elementary school this September. He is exactly what you have described about your son. He is smart, asks intelligent questions, something very deep questions about God and Universe… He is a social boy loves playing with other kids but he just like yours doesn’t want to go school. I did ask his teacher if he plays with other kids. According to his teacher he is very friendly and gets along with everyone. I don’t understand why does he not want to go school.May be it’s his way of expressing that he loves me most and I am his world just like he is mine…
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Thank you for sharing, so it’s not just my son, there are couple of other kids in his class that feel the same, there is a girl who hasn’t spoken a word yet. My son is also friendly and has made some friends and enjoys being with them even after school, according to his teacher is active at the classroom, doing all the work, (we even finished the math’s exercises book for one day, I didn’t want to but he insisted) However, he is feels uncomfortable staying at school by himself, so my husband waits him outside and he checks him couple of times a day whether he is there or not. We really don’t know how to overcome this, when we tried he would get depressed and cries all the time. As you said probably he needs more time to adapt to his new environment where he is not the center of the Universe as he is at home with us.
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But education is very important nowadays. Not all people would be the same to some people like Bill Gates who became a multi-billionaire that was not highly educated before. It seems that your son is a smart, keep pursuing him and the brood to the best they could be! 🙂
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Thank you for your wisdom…he is doing good now, but not very enthusiastic about school 🙂
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